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This category incude SMS: 311
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*** Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .
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20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand
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A blond woman picks up a 100. Was it a smart or a stupid blond one? ...................... stupid of course, there are no others
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A girl phoned me the other day and said...Come on over, there is nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
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A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!
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A man was dying of cancer. His son asked him:dad why do you keepon telling everyone that your dying of AIDS.He replied"So that when i die no 1 will fuck ur mom
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A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.
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After the party - mum, I am not drunk, I can lay on the flour without holding on
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Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
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Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
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Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!
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Are we related? Do you want to be?
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As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
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At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on
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At this moment i have a déja vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.
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Baicarumba...are those real?
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Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!
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Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
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Be unique and different, just say yes.
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Be unique and different, say yes.
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BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
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Bigamy..............What is the penalty for bigamy? ............... Two mothers-in-law !
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Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!
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Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.
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Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
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Can I flirt with you?
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Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."
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Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters
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Can you say constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.
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Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee.
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Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.
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Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
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Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
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Dear God, I will keep it brief otherwise they will steal my dinner. AMEN
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Dialogue between 2 undertakers. "Do you have sometimes a dead period?"
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Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
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Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
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Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.
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| Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
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Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"
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Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.
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Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?
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Do you have a map? Cos Honey, I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.
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Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some? (if yes…) Want some more?
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Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?
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Do you know how to use a whip?
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Do you know karate? Cos damn it honey, your body is really kickin.
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Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow-job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?
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Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
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Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
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